Quite possibly my most annoying trait to other people, and yet one thing of my life that I absolutely love is my ability to live life with minimal plans and on the fly.
Most people enjoy the stability of a regular schedule and being able to plan their lives months or weeks in advance. Meanwhile I have lived my whole life on the fly as such and really dont know how to truly schedule or plan weeks and months in advance.
I love being able to change my plans at the last second if I decide I don’t like what I’m doing right now and go do something else. And although stress is probably the worst thing for my illness, somehow I find I always work better under pressure!
Perhaps it was my upbringing, being home schooled in the real sense that my parents bought the books from the school supply store and sat with me at the desk teaching me. But we also had a whole herd of horses to care for, so the books and pens and papers would be stashed into a bag and off in the car I would go. I would find a spot high in a tree while my parents worked, and take out my books to study. Mom had always worked out that I needed to do a certain amount of pages each day in order to cover the material by the end of the year, and so I would do that. Many a geography and math book, I would read and figure out in back seat of the car or perhaps in the top of a tree.
Now as an adult, I still tend to live life in the wing (oh if only that were true in the real sense of being able to fly around the world often!), I’ve tried for all I’m worth to make a schedule to stick to, one that includes work, worship, preaching, home cleaning, and re reaction. Year after year I’ve tried and failed hopelessly! If I’m really lucky it may last about 2 weeks, but then real life gets in the way of my “organized dream” and where others would stop and sort it out again, I relish the chaos. So glad to have my normal back!
This is one of the reasons I haven’t truly planned out every detail of my big trip in later this month, I’m fretting a bit that I have left certain things to chance, but at the same time I love the flexibility and the freedom of being able to say “well hey, it was nice seeing you guys, but my friends in another state just called me and invited me camping in the Rockies, so I’m off.”
Who knows, it might be my illness playing a part (actually I know it is, because if I try too many early mornings in a row, or I try to do too much each my body punishes me. And each day “too much” is someone different that I just cannot plan ahead), perhaps it’s the line of work I’m in that does this (my work “schedule” is exactly opposite to a school teacher schedule-or any other normal person for that matter, being in the recreational industry), maybe my upbringing, or maybe just who I am as a person.